Running a Bluff
by Mordae Durgul
Summary: A possible solution to the Amazon problem. Oneshot.


Bluffing

A Ranma ½ Fic

Ranma peeled himself free of the wall. He dodged another hug from Shampoo and ducked under Akane's fist. He spun to the side, pushing off from Akane, putting them both out of the way of Ukyo's spatula. Akane didn't notice that of course and charged him with the usual names on her lips.

Just another day in Nerima-cho. The fiancées, the rivals, the old pervert; it never changed. After more than three years it was still the same, day in and day out. And only Nabiki profited in the long run.

0+0+0

Ranma sat under the bridge and stared at the water.

"Yen for your thoughts?"

Ranma blinked and glanced around. He hadn't noticed the man approaching. Which was odd. The man was gaijin and very tall. He seemed to be middle aged, but he wore a loose shirt and silk pants much like Ranma's own. Ranma studied him for a moment, trying to determine his place in things.

"You're not a martial artist."

"No," the man said with a faint smile. "I'm a defender. A bodyguard you might say."

Ranma nodded and turned back to the water.

"You're very quiet for someone your age, young man. Have you already learned the value of thought over words?"

Ranma glanced at the man, who was now sitting beside him. "It ain't worth sayin' nothin' when no one listens to anything I say anyway."

The man nodded. He stared intently at Ranma for a moment. "That is because you do not tell them what they want to hear. Or they choose to hear what they want, regardless of what you say."

Ranma nodded, staring glumly at the water. "And my old man is constantly naggin' about honor. But if I try to honor one agreement then I break all the others."

The man chuckled. "I see your problem." He made a warding gesture at Ranma's glare. "I know, it isn't funny. But you're looking at them all as one problem. If you take them one at a time, they become much more manageable."

"Yeah, sure," Ranma grumbled. "How'm I supposed ta do that?"

"Well," the man began, "take the problem with the Chinese. They insist that you are married by their laws and want you to return to China and be a good husband."

"Feh," Ranma groused. "I'd rather die. Have you seen the way she treats Mousse? She's pretty an' all, but she's a sadist."

"It is a fairly common problem in a society where women rule by claiming superiority. They constantly feel the need to prove that they are better than the men. Shampoo probably doesn't realize that she's abusing Moose. She sees it as a form of affection."

Ranma nodded. "That's why I won't go back to China with them."

"Then all you have to do is tell them."

"I tried," Ranma protested.

The man smiled. "I could quote a movie at this point, but it would be too cliché. You're simply not making it clear to them in a way that they can understand."

"I don't know how to do that."

"It is very easy, Ranma. There is no honor agreement between you and them. You just said you would rather die than go with them. All you have to do is decide how to convince them. Which is more important, your honor, or your life?"

Ranma stared at the man for a long moment. The man nodded once as if in response to Ranma's thoughts. Ranma took a deep breath, closing his eyes as he tried to relax. It only took a moment to realize exactly what the man was implying.

"Thank you…" He trailed off as he opened his eyes and the man was nowhere to be seen. "I didn't even ask his name."

0+0+0

Nabiki saw him first. "Where have you been, Saotome-kun?" The rest of the family turned to hear his answer, each with their own expectations. His reply shocked all of them.

"Thinking, Nabiki-kun. Just thinking."

Nabiki stepped back, surprised at the form of address. Akane had been planning her angry reaction and was caught out of sorts when Ranma failed to respond normally.

Akane stared, stunned, as he pecked her briefly on the cheek as he passed. It was almost brotherly in nature. He gave Kasumi the same treatment as he headed for his mother.

"Mother," he said as he knelt respectfully before her. "I would request your assistance in a matter of great importance."

There was much staring. They had never heard Ranma speak so properly and formally. Only Nodoka didn't seem surprised.

"Speak, my son. I will always aid you as I can."

Ranma rose and held out his hand, helping his mother to her feet. They left the house and walked around the dojo. Even Nabiki didn't dare eavesdrop on their conversation.

They didn't return for a long time, and when they did, Ranma was a girl and wearing a formal kimono. Without saying a word they gathered everyone and led them out of the house.

0+0+0

Cologne became aware of the commotion long before any of the patrons of the Nekohantan. She elected to wait and see what would happen when Ranma arrived.

When the door opened and she saw Ranma's mother, she knew something was about to change. It would be interesting to see what Ranma had come up with in his constant attempts to squirm out of his predicament.

She came to the door, Shampoo and Moose behind her. Ranma was standing with his mother in the middle of the street. He was in girl form and wearing a formal kimono. His mother was dressed similarly, with the added presence of a pair of swords at her belt. The rest of the Tendo's and even the Kuonjii girl were present. In fact half the ward seemed to be here to witness the coming spectacle. A quick glance at the middle Tendo told Cologne that this was not a planned event.

"What do you want Muko-dono?"

"Ancient Elder," Ranma said, putting a slight emphasis on the word 'Ancient'. "I come to challenge the Law concerning the Kiss of Marriage and the Kiss of Death placed upon me."

Cologne blinked. "What challenge do you make?" She became much more formal in response to his own formality.

"I challenge the Law. I will meet you in combat. If I win, the Law is void. If I loose, I will give in to the Law."

"You will freely return to China as Shampoo's groom?"

Ranma smirked slightly. "The Kiss of Death was given first."

Cologne nearly fell off her staff before she could reply. "The Kiss of Death was annulled by the Council. It no longer applies."

Ranma nodded as if he had expected her response. "Then I will agree to return to China as Shampoo's groom if I loose the combat and survive. Let us begin immediately."

"Wait," Cologne exclaimed as Ranma started to turn. Ranma glanced back and met her searching gaze. They stood for several long moments, eyes locked as Cologne looked for Ranma's true intent. Finally she nodded.

"Shampoo, Moose. Begin packing. We leave for China tonight."

Shampoo smiled. "Shampoo know Airen…" Cologne cut her off with a bop of her staff.

"Ranma," the elder said with a bow, "I release you from all Laws concerning you. If you have the chance, when you become Master of your school, come to our Village and I will teach you what I can. Perhaps the Council can be convinced to induct you into our tribe."

Ranma bowed in response but said nothing as he turned, accompanied by his mother and headed home.

"Why did she just give up?" Akane wondered.

Nabiki grinned. "Ranma ran a bluff."

"Bluff?"

"Yes. A very good one too. He convinced Cologne that she couldn't win. Or rather, the only way she could win would result in his death," Nabiki said smugly.

Ranma glanced back at her. "What makes you think I was bluffing, Nabiki-kun? I've said numerous times that I would give my life for the Art."

Nabiki and Akane stopped in their tracks as they both realized exactly what had just happened. By the time they recovered, the rest of the family was far ahead and they had to run to catch up.

0+0+0

At the side of the street, a young woman stared thoughtfully after the two families. She sighed and headed to her own home wondering what she would do if Ranma came to her with a similar challenge. Kuonjii Ukyo shuddered and hoped her friend would find an easier way to solve their dilemma.

0+0+0

"I don't get it," Akane said.

"It's simple," Nabiki explained quietly. "Ranma challenged Cologne in such a way that she couldn't win. If she lost the fight, he was free. If she won the fight he would be dead."

"But how could he be sure?"

"That's why my mother was there," Ranma interjected, causing both girls to jump.

As she caught her breath Nabiki nodded. "The 'Man among men' contract."

Ranma nodded. "It wouldn't be very manly of me to be the husband of an Amazon. Once I pointed out a few things to her, Mother agreed. The contract predated the mess with Shampoo. There was no way I would live to return to China with them."

Nabiki nodded. "Cologne must have realized most of this. She might have been able to stop it from happening, but not without causing problems with the Japanese government. Thus her offer."

Ranma nodded. "Someday I'll take her up on that. As long as my wife and family are included." He glanced at Akane.

Nabiki snickered as Akane blushed.

"Baka."

AN- Before any of my readers get mad, this is not a new story. I'm still working on All for One part 7, but I hit a part that seemed too serious and was having trouble fitting it in. I'll have it ready soon. This is a story I've had on my flash drive for awhile, but I didn't like the way the bluff was explained. Now I've got it a little better so I'm posting it. It is a one shot, there won't be any similar chapter for Ukyo, in spite of the paragraph at the end. Thanks for reading.

Mordaé


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